Understanding Validation in Relationships and Why We All Need It

#7: Understanding Validation in Relationships and Why We All Need It

Do you know how important it is to feel validated? Validation lets us know that we have been heard and understood. We all have the need to be understood by others, especially those closest to us. Today Marielle and Ed discuss the importance of validation in all interpersonal relationships. They describe the different levels of validation and they take a look at the detrimental effects of being invalidated by someone. Tune in now to find out more.

Validation is a necessary part of all relationships, from the most intimate relationships to friendships and work relationships. Marielle and Ed start today’s episode with a definition of what invalidation is to give a sense of what it looks like and talk about how painful it feels to be on the receiving end of it. Listen in today, to find out what validation is and why it matters so much in relationships. 

“Invalidation is when someone else negates to your private internal experience.” – Marielle Berg

Show Highlights:

  • Marielle explains what invalidation is and what it looks like.
  • Being invalidated feels painful and it can cause people to become defensive and angry.
  • It is possible to validate someone’s experience without having to agree with them.
  • What validation is and why it matters so much in relationships.
  • Validation is the best way to connect and understand someone else’s personal experiences.
  • Why and how validation acts as a social lubricant.
  • Differentiating intent versus impact.
  • How validation can prevent defensiveness.
  • How validation differs from simply agreeing.
  • The benefits of starting hard conversations with validation.
  • The different levels of validation.
  • Paying attention is the first and most basic level of validation.
  • The next level of validation is reflecting back what you have heard without judgment. 
  • The third level of validation is called “reading minds”. This is a more advanced level of validation. It involves noticing and sensing what is going on with the other person without them having to tell us. It is powerful but it can also be tricky.



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