The Skillful Podcast Episode 28 Listener Questions

#28: Listener Questions

Today Marielle and Ed answer listener questions. 

The first question is from a listener in Sweden about how to cope with anger at others for not taking the COVID-19 pandemic seriously. 

Question two is about how to use DEAR MAN to say no.

The final question in this episode is about how to figure out when it’s time to leave a situation. 

Show Highlights

  • What to do when others don’t seem to care about the danger the pandemic poses
  • Ask yourself if your emotion fits the facts
  • If your emotion does fit the facts, ask yourself if acting on the emotion is effective
  • In order to figure out if your emotion is effective, you need to know what your goals are
  • Using some Distress Tolerance can be helpful to bring down strong emotions in order to access Wise Mind
  • Distraction and self-soothing when emotions run high
  • Radical acceptance: we cannot control or change what other people are doing
  • Radical acceptance of what others are doing is not approving of it or saying that it is right or safe
  • How strongly you say no to something depends on a lot of different factors
  • What’s the relationship between you and the person you are saying no to?
  • The different levels of saying no: do you say no with intensity or do you say it more lightly?
  • Unpacking the interpersonal myth that it’s not ok to say no or have others be disappointed with us
  • Use Wise Mind to weigh options when deciding to leave a situation
  • Be reflective about all the factors before taking any actions 
  • Often times, abruptly leaving a situation comes from Emotion Mind

Links & Resources

DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition

Ask us a Question

We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. 

Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.