The Skillful Podcast Episode 54: Emotions Explained: Anger

#54: Emotions Explained: Anger

In this episode, Marielle and Ed discuss the emotion of anger. In its most useful form, anger moves us to protect and defend ourselves and those we care about.

Many people, though, find anger frightening because they have witnessed destructive expressions of anger such as emotional or physical violence. This episode unpacks the emotion of anger so you can understand it in yourself and potentially in others.

Sometimes anger fits the facts, and sometimes faulty interpretations can intensify anger, making us believe that we are being treated unfairly or that things should be different than they are. Skills such as Observing and Describing Emotions, Paced Breathing, Check the Facts and Opposite Action can be particularly helpful in responding to anger effectively.

Show Highlights:

  • Noticing what anger looks like for you: ruminating, crying, shutting down, or something else
  • Reflecting on your own family of origin experience with anger
  • Anger lets us know that our boundaries have been crossed
  • Is this anger covering a different emotion?
  • Societal and cultural prohibitions around anger: who is allowed to express anger and who gets punished for it?
  • Criticizing or complaining can be a sign of anger
  • Understanding and being able to name anger is regulating
  • Notice the hangover effects of intense anger in your mind and body
  • Sometimes our anger is spot on and other times it’s more about an assumption, judgment, or interpretation
  • Using Check the Facts to see if anger is justified by the facts
  • If it’s not the right time or place to express the anger, or if the anger is more about interpretations or assumptions then the actual facts, use Opposite Action
  • Give yourself time to sit with the anger so you can decide the most effective course of action
  • Remembering you have options in how you express anger

DBT Skills Discussed

Resources

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#54: Emotions Explained: Anger Transcript

Marielle Berg 

Hello and welcome to the Skillful Podcast where we explore DBT and RO-DBT skills to help you reduce emotional suffering, improve your relationships, and become more present in your life. I’m your host, Marielle Berg, a psychotherapist at the Bay Area DBT and Couples Counseling center.

Marielle Berg 

We are going to dive into anger today. Ed and I talked about different topics for the podcast and realize that we could spend an episode, like an entire episode on the major emotions, and really kind of unpacking them and thinking about the different levels of each emotion like low intensity, high intensity, what causes or typical prompting events for emotions. And that we really just could do a deep dive into each of the major emotions. And I was thinking, Okay, let’s, let’s start with anger, one of the more troubling emotions or painful emotions and an emotion that often brings people to DBT, because they want help understanding and managing their anger.

Ed Fowler 

I’m excited to do these episodes around specific emotions, because one of the main things I appreciate about DBT is the ability to really understand emotions, and to recognize that every emotion we experience is something that’s built into us biologically. And emotional experience is so common, there’s, when we say anger, we most of us know what that means. And so I think it’s really helpful to like dive a little deeper understand the emotions so that when the emotion is coming up and is strong, and Emotion Mind is strong, so we’re losing access to that Wise Mind balance, will be just a little bit quicker to say, wait a minute, this is anger. What’s this about? What’s happening? What can I do?

Marielle Berg 

So much happens when we have emotions, that is usually you know, outside of our conscious awareness. Things that are happening quickly and behind the scenes, things that are happening in our bodies, memories or associations we might have, and they can be overwhelming. And I know folks can feel that I have felt at times too. Like, I don’t understand this. Why, you know, I felt okay, a short while ago, why am I angry all of a sudden? What’s happening? And what can i What can I do with this anger that isn’t destructive? And so maybe we should begin unpacking anger by talking a little bit about the different levels or gradations of anger? Because, you know, I would put mild irritation or frustration on the low end of anger. How about you, Ed?

Ed Fowler 

Yeah,

Ed Fowler 

I think that, you know, we have probably all experienced, like, some frustration, some annoyance, you know, that that would be the kind of lower and, and then that anger builds, right? And so something can be, Ah that’s kind of frustrating. But oftentimes, it might start with frustration, and then move up to the next level, which I don’t know, Marielle what would you describe is like kind of the mid level anger?

Marielle Berg 

Maybe there’s more hostility, or we can think about irritation or indignation, which has a little bit of a different quality to it. Or just plain old anger.

Ed Fowler 

Yeah, kind of like thinking, you know, there’s like, I’m frustrated and I’m angry. And then the highest level is like, I’m a furious, I’m a rageful.

Marielle Berg 

Right, wrath, vengefulness. Those are like that, you know, on a scale of one to 10, those are 10 for anger, right. And if we go to those places, it’s very scary, and we can often feel really out of control,

Ed Fowler 

Right.

Marielle Berg 

And so, you know, we teach a lot of skills and DBT. And many of the skills we’ve talked about here on the podcast, that can help us not get to that place. And if we do get to that place, help us come down from it. Because when we were at that 10, like our most angry our rageful, full of vengefulness and wrath, and fury, we cannot think clearly

Ed Fowler 

Right.

Ed Fowler 

And I think it’s helpful to remember that we have these emotions for a reason. And personally, I find it really helpful to think about the reasons that anger is a part of the human experience. We have anger, to tell us that something is off, we’re being blocked from achieving some goal, we are in danger of being hurt, we are being hurt, and we need to push back. And so sometimes we do need that rage to push back against extreme harm being done to us or someone we care about. And I think where we can struggle is, I’m feeling extreme rage about something that actually isn’t causing that level of extreme harm. And that’s where we want to use emotion regulation skills to manage it. But we have anger to get the message like, “Something’s wrong, I’m being harmed or potentially harmed, and I need to push back.”

Marielle Berg 

Yeah, anger motivates us in that sort of defensive, protective stance with that push back. You know, anger is a kind of emotion that I think is sort of hot if it had a temperature. Anger really wants to move. Whereas other emotions we might see, like shame or sadness, or emotions that are more, encourage us more to withdraw, or or recede, but I think anger wants to move forward. Because at its, you know, most useful anger gets us to protect ourselves and loved ones and things we care about. So the goal here is not to get rid of anger, but to to harness its power wisely.

Ed Fowler 

Our emotional experience, as we’ve talked about before, is a mix of our experiencing what’s happening in the moment, and what we would say would be the facts of the situation, as well as our interpretations of the situation, our assumptions or judgments about a situation. And so with anger, you know, like when we’re able to tune in, okay, I’m feeling angry, we can notice, okay, what’s prompting this anger? So it may be that somebody said something that felt really offensive, and I, I’m having this urge to push back, or I’m being physically threatened in a way that I want to start to fight. And there are situations where absolutely, there are, we need to express that anger, and we need to express it in the moment to push back. And then we can also notice sometimes, like, that was so unfair, that was uncalled for, it’s crazy that they would say that, to me, these are interpretations that will certainly inflame anger, but may not actually be really calibrated to what’s specifically happening in the moment. So we want to look for some of those interpretations that can really feed the anger, and be careful about making sure that they’re not that they’re in balance.

Marielle Berg 

I know we talked about this a bit, when we did an episode on Check the Facts, because that’s such a big piece of checking the facts, where we look at the thing that happened, you know, just looking at the facts, and then we look at our interpretations, because often it’s our interpretations that can really heighten our anger or make it grow or intensify. And so you know, certain beliefs like that maybe you’ve been treated unfairly, or believing that, you know, important goals that you have are being blocked by someone more powerful beliefs that things should be different than they are. I think there can be a real rigidity that can happen with anger, where we sort of dig our heels in, and we feel like I’m right, sort of this righteous anger, which can, you know, it’s not very conducive to relationships, right? Also just ruminating about past events that set off anger in the first place. I mean, who hasn’t had that happen from time to time where you remember something from the past? And it could be years ago, and you feel angry all again? Well, you feel angry all over again, I should say.

Ed Fowler 

Right. And for me, like I will, you know, think about something that where I felt wronged. And my way of ruminating is to imagine the fight. So I would if I could do it again, I would say this, and I would say that and I would really let them have it. And I would make sure that they knew how wrong they were. And again, for me, it’s like kind of rehearsing the prompt of what anger is prompting us to, to fight back. But if I’m just like having the fight in my head by myself years later, is that really an effective expression of anger? And that’s where we want to be noticing these kinds of things, and seek to balance them out. And that’s what I will do is notice, like, Oh, I’m having an imaginary fight in my head for something that happened a long time ago. What’s happening here? Is this really how I want to deal with this anger? Is there something else that I might do with this anger that would actually achieve a goal of fighting back or pushing back or getting needs met in a different way?

Marielle Berg 

Yeah,

Marielle Berg 

or even like letting that experience go. Because sometimes we have to do that, maybe there is no way to rectify what happened in the past. I mean, sometimes there is, but many times there aren’t. So then, how do I deal with this memory of the thing that made me really angry and all the things I wish I could have said and done?

Ed Fowler 

But

Ed Fowler 

in order to get to that point, we really do need to understand “I am angry,” and what’s happening with this? Yeah, so obviously our thoughts are part of it. But also, anger is a very physical emotion, like all emotions have a physical biological component to them. And for anger, it’s very pronounced. And so we want to be able to also tune in because sometimes I know I’m angry based on what I feel in my body, versus my thoughts. And so when I noticed my fists are clenched, that’s a good sign, I might be angry.

Marielle Berg 

Yeah, there’s a lot of tension in the body with anger usually. So as you said, you know, clenching fists, teeth clenching, muscles tightening, kind of across the board, there can be a real, as I said, sort of hot kind of feeling to it, maybe you’re getting flushed. And there’s again, this desire to, you know, anger wants to move. This desire to, to hit something, or slam something, or bang the wall, like to something physical to have happen. And this is where we get into the aspect of anger, where it can be really harmful to others and ourselves, where we want to hurt someone or something. And also, those are the more kind of outward expressions of anger. And well this is also an outward expression of anger for some people being unable to stop crying. So for some folks, when they’re really angry, the tears just come and come in and sort of uncontrollable, and it’s a very uncomfortable place to be. So anger can also look like that.

Ed Fowler 

You know, like all emotions have a pretty standard, a physical expression that we can learn or be taught to override and maybe move in a different direction. So for instance, anger is meant to motivate us to action, we should be ready to fight. That’s the point of feeling anger, even though there are times where it’s like fighting isn’t going to actually do any good here. But our body is built to say, I’m feeling angry, I need to prepare to fight. But if we’ve been taught that, like, you’re never going to win the fight, you can’t fight fighting isn’t going to do any good ever, then that’s where we might actually our anger for a lot of people may be more passive, where I shut down, I collapse, all I can do is cry. And so we just want to notice for each of us, what’s my anger look like? What do I experience when I’m angry? And again, noticing like, oftentimes, kind of racing thoughts can be a part of it, where our body wants to do something, or is suppressing the urge to do something. And our mind is like trying to figure it out. And so we can have these racing thoughts, thinking about what’s been said, what’s been done. And all of that can be part of the experience of anger.

Marielle Berg 

And I just want to highlight something you said a moment ago, because I think it’s so important that you know, if someone has habitually been persuaded out of their anger, which is a nicer way to say it than when I’m actually thinking, like, if you know, if anger has been really shut down. For people who grew up in families where anger was not permitted, or anger was dangerous, or if you felt angry about something that was happening to you, that was just not okay, maybe it would make things worse, that anger can get really sort of frozen in the body. So the way it expresses itself, for those folks might be more of something that looks like numbing kind of checked out, doesn’t mean the person isn’t feeling really upset inside, but there, it isn’t as quite as visible. And that’s where we might see some of the you know, I can’t stop crying might be a little bit more of a collapse. So it’s, it’s, it varies.

Ed Fowler 

And I’ve definitely heard people say, Oh, I don’t get angry, like, Okay, well, you seem to be having most other emotions. Why would this one be deleted? And the reality is, people have just shut down their anger. And so it’s like, no, I don’t get angry because people have learned, for instance, like they can talk themselves out of feeling wronged, so quickly, that before they can experience the anger, it’s like, oh, no, it’s no big deal. I don’t care about that, it doesn’t even matter. Whereas other people have really had their anger promoted. Like, we can be taught that, like, we get positive attention when we’re angry. We get taken seriously when we’re angry. So for some people, anger shuts them down, because it’s just I’ve been taught, it’s not going to do any good. And I just shut down. And for other people, I feel a little angry. And now I’m accentuating it. And I’m yelling, and I’m very forceful. Because there’s the sense of like, oh, this is what you do with anger, you just let it all out. And so we are all trained in different ways to respond to these emotions. And we want to be conscientious about that, because one size fits all doesn’t tend to work. And so if I can only experience how anger by becoming outwardly aggressive and rageful, it’s not going to work every time. If I can only experience anger by shutting down or just crying, for instance, that’s not going to work every time. So understanding our own anger, and some things that we might do will help us have more of that flexibility to be effective and expressing our anger.

Marielle Berg 

And as we’re talking about this, I’m thinking about the importance of reflecting on our own early experiences with anger in the families we grew up in. So really thinking about who, who was allowed in my family to express anger? Or was anyone allowed? Was it something that was shut down? Was I allowed to express anger? Yes or No? Or in what context? And how would the people around me respond to anger? In some families, anger is really taboo. In other families, there might be, you know, one pass person, one parent who’s maybe allowed to express anger in ways that are harmful, but no one else can. I mean, there’s such a variety of different ways that anger can or cannot be held in the families we grew up in. So I think that that’s a really great starting point, as you’re reflecting on your own relationship to anger, thinking about how you were raised and what was modeled for you.

Ed Fowler 

And then, and what did that look like, as you got older? What has anger looked like in adulthood in different environments? So in different settings with for instance, if you have your own partner, what does anger look like? Because it can, we can have one model, when we’re young, and then something very different when we’re older. And you know, like it can, both of those can affect the way that we experience and express anger. I think something to also think about is that in, you know, some families, no one’s allowed to be angry, you have to suppress all anger. And in other families, anger is the only emotion that’s allowed. And so people don’t express sadness, they don’t express guilt, they don’t express fear, they express anger. And so kind of like all other emotions get filtered through anger and people just it’s like, anger is the emotion I can express, so I express anger. And I think this tends to like, again, anger can be very gendered. So I think it’s much more acceptable for men to be angry than women. And also, I think sometimes for men, it’s like anger is the only acceptable emotion. And so men don’t learn how to express other emotions and only have the freedom to express anger. And when our own experience is different than what’s kind of expected of our gender, and what our perceived gender might be, that makes it even more complicated. So we really do need to reflect on our own experiences, and how those fit with our childhood and our adulthood. And what we need, what do we really need with again, for me, the foundation of anger is not good or bad, it’s not right or wrong. Anger gives us information. How do I effectively deal with that

Ed Fowler 

information?

Marielle Berg 

Yes, and I was also thinking, as you were talking about how I’ve heard this, which I don’t believe this is true, but I feel like it’s sort of out there maybe in popular culture, at least, maybe that’s not quite accurate. It’s out there in the therapy world, more so maybe, maybe mere mortals don’t know about this, but but this idea of that, you know, that that anger is, you know, just a front or a facade for sadness, that there’s a lot of sadness behind the anger. And often there is, but that is I think, if we, if we go just to that, then we discount the importance of anger, that lets us know when our boundaries have been crossed in some way. So often, there can be sadness with that, too. But we don’t want to assume that there’s actually grief or sadness that’s actually driving the anger. Have you heard that one Ed?

Ed Fowler 

Yes.

Ed Fowler 

I have. Actually, for me, that was something that I heard long ago, that actually was helpful to me to recognize that sometimes when I’m angry, I’m actually sad and angry is easier to access. But the key is sometimes.

Marielle Berg 

Yeah.

Ed Fowler 

Sometimes. And that’s where when we get into like, oh, anger is always just a misdirected sadness. And that’s not accurate, right? Or anger is always righteous. If I’m angry, something is wrong, and it has to be addressed. Not always. And sometimes, and so that’s where the DBT approach very dialectical, is. We need to check in with what’s happening here, what’s happening now, how is this influenced by my past, to sort out: is this anger I need to act on? Is this anger I need to think through a little bit more? Is this anger covering a different emotion?

Marielle Berg 

Yes, yes. And just another reminder about the gendered and I think that cultural piece at, at large of who’s allowed to express anger and who isn’t, and how that gets reinforced by the world around us, and our caretakers in particular. I remember a book I was reading, and I can’t recall the name, but if I find it, I will link to it in the show notes. And it was specifically about women’s rage. And the author had a story in the book about I believe it was her daughter, you know, maybe a kindergartener who was playing with a group of kids. And she built up this really fabulous castle with blocks. And a boy came over and knocked it all down. And the little girl just started crying hysterically. And the other parents who are witnessing are adults who around said, Oh, she’s just so sad, because, you know, he knocked down her castle. And the mother, the author of the book was like, No, she’s angry. How come the other adults here can’t see that, and why are we attributing her frustration, her rage to sadness? Her hypotheses around this is that very often for girls, they learn quickly that anger is not okay, but sadness is. And so adults around them will interpret their emotions as sadness when it’s actually anger, because anger is taboo.

Ed Fowler 

Right. And I think, again, the societal and cultural influences around anger in particular, are very strong. Like thinking about what racial groups and ethnicities are allowed to be angry and which ones aren’t. And I think in general, white people, there’s a lot of, and white men in particular, there’s a lot of room for anger, anger is actually celebrated at times. But most other races and ethnicities, and in particular, Black people are, it’s not allowed, it’s never appropriate, and people need to suppress it. So we do want to look at how is my anger influenced by societal standards and societal norms around who’s allowed to be angry and who’s not. Whose anger is celebrated and whose is threatening?

Marielle Berg 

Yes,

Marielle Berg 

who’s whose anger, depending on your gender, or your race, and your age, and your your whole, you know, social location in the world, your anger might be met with a lot of fury, from those in power around you. So it’s really, it’s really tricky and multi layered.

Ed Fowler 

And that’s where we want to be able to understand all of the nuances of our own experience of anger. Because, again, anger gives us important information. Sometimes anger is critical to listen to, and act on it fits the facts. And so we want to be able to figure out, okay, given all the noise that influences my experience of anger, how do I tune into what is this feeling of anger? Where’s it coming from, checking the facts, and figuring out what can I do with this anger?

Marielle Berg 

Yeah, yeah. And let’s, let’s talk a little bit about expressions and actions of anger, common ones, which we’ve we’ve discussed a little bit, but I feel like there’s a few more I want to make sure we get to. So these are common ways that people express anger. We talked about clenching of, you know, hands, or fists, or your jaw, it also can look like frowning, or sort of like what might be interpreted as a mean, or angry expression. It can look like brooding or withdrawing from others. So there’s that sort of like that cold shoulder or if you’ve ever, you know, gotten that quote, unquote, silent treatment like that, is an expression of anger. That’s just quieter, but but pretty hostile. Of course, any kind of physical or verbal attacks.

Ed Fowler 

Yeah,

Ed Fowler 

I think another one is sometimes like people will smile a lot when they’re angry. So that again, that like sometimes, like a really tight smile is an expression of anger. And so again, there’s a lot of ways that we express anger, externally, in addition to the ways that we feel anger, internally.

Marielle Berg 

Criticizing or complaining, I think it’s also one that can get overlooked and one, unfortunately, that I know all too well, that. And so then I’m not always aware that there’s anger behind the criticism, that there’s some kind of boundary, there’s some kind of limit, something’s been crossed within me, and I’ll go more to criticism, which I think I can trick myself that it’s about that it’s not actually anger.

Ed Fowler 

Right.

Marielle Berg 

And, and just on that point, understanding and being able to name our emotions, in and of itself can have a profound impact on how we feel if we can just label it. So that simple act, saying, Oh, this is anger. That’s what’s present. It can help us regulate our emotions. Of course, we often need more but that is really an important important starting point.

Ed Fowler 

And for me, the way I notice that I’m angry typically is like I feel a lot of energy in my body. And my thoughts are kind of fast. And I can find myself again rehearsing things that I want to say. And so when I can notice that and take a step back and say, Hold on a second, I’m angry. What is this anger? Where is it coming from? This is kind of the checking the facts thing. Like that’s so valuable to just acknowledge, instead of like, I’m just doing things that I’ve done, which is walking in circles, having an imaginary fight in my head. And that is my expression of anger. Like, I’m able to say, I’m angry. What’s prompting this anger? What, where does this come from? What’s happening now? Let me slow this down. Let me check the facts. Let me do a little, for instance, paced breathing just to get back into a little bit more physical and emotional balance in order to figure out, okay, what am I going to do with this anger, as opposed to, I’m just angry, I’m spinning in anger. And I don’t even know it.

Marielle Berg 

Let’s talk a little bit about the common after effects of anger. So usually, after we’re angry, especially if we’re intensely angry, our attention can really get narrowed. So we don’t see the bigger picture, we just sort of get this tunnel vision about what has upset us, which is related to attending to or only noticing the situation that’s making us angry. So we might be really angry because someone cuts us off in traffic, and then we fail to notice you know that the sun is shining, and the trees are blooming. Rumination is a common after effect of anger. And this is what you were talking about as like, running it over and over in your mind. We might also feel dissociative, we might feel numb, some of us might go to those more unregulated places.

Ed Fowler 

And so, we’ve talked a lot about what is it like to experience anger? Where do some of these experiences of anger come from, from our history or societal influences? So it’s, I think, helpful to then think about, okay, if I know I’m angry, what do I do with it? And that’s where I think that in emotion regulation and DBT, when you notice a strong emotion that you don’t want, first we check the facts. Okay, what am I feeling I named the emotion? What are the facts of the situation? What are the interpretations or judgments or assumptions that are also playing into this experience? And then we decide, is this anger justified by the facts? Is this a good time to express it? What are my options, right?

Ed Fowler 

So if anger is not justified by the facts, so it’s lots of interpretations, like, she always says this to me, and I’m so sick of her never listening to me, okay, we’re not ready to really deal with the what’s what’s happening, that’s prompting anger, we’re too far into the extremes. Or I’m really angry about something and now’s not the time to address it, I’m in a meeting, or I am, you know, like with someone who I don’t think is prepared to have this conversation. So if it’s not the right time, or place, or even, it doesn’t seem like this anger is justified, then always Opposite Action is so valuable. So instead of acting on the anger, we act opposite in order to change the emotion.

Ed Fowler 

So if you’re feeling really angry, and it’s not the time or place or it’s not really justified, then you gently avoid the person or the situation that’s creating the anger. You step away, you take a timeout. You think about actually maybe being kind to the person that you’re angry at, trying to understand them. All of that can give you something to do, rather than acting on the anger, to act opposite get out of the anger. And sometimes that means I’m going to come back when the anger is not as strong and figure out okay, what was I angry about? What can I do about that? Because when anger is justified, we need to act on it. We need to push back we need to overcome obstacles. So we want to be thoughtful about actually acting on anger when it is justified, even if it’s not right in the present moment.

Marielle Berg 

Right. We don’t want to send the message that you shouldn’t act on your anger. I think for many people, they’re scared of anger or their anger or others anger because they have seen destructive displays of anger that results in physical violence or, you know, emotional abuse, things like that, that are quite damaging. Those can often be the first go to and you know, on occasion, in dire circumstances are those kinds of physical outbursts are needed. but that is very rare in our modern culture and often creates more problems. So for many situations, if we can do some opposite action, if we’ve determined that acting on our anger, in the moment is not the most effective thing, do some opposite action that you just mentioned, and then get a little more in contact with our wise mind. And then we can figure out what’s the best way for me to address this? So we’re not ignoring it, we’re just waiting to be calmed down a little bit, to think about, okay, who might I want to talk to? Is there someone to talk to? Is there an email I need to write, what might I need to do. Are there other other people that might be important to get involved? But we can then, you know, bring all our faculties on board and connect with our most intuitive and grounded part of ourselves to figure out how to address situations that creating or that actually needs to be addressed, so hopefully, they won’t happen again.

Ed Fowler 

For me, personally, like I, I used to be very afraid of my anger, and very unsure of it and tend to tended to suppress it. Because I didn’t really know how am I going to express this effectively. And it’s been so valuable to think about and plan using kind of our coping ahead skill. And using our Problem Solving skill, to know these are things I can do when I’m angry, to effectively express that anger. And to now feel pretty confident that like, I know how to calibrate my anger, for instance, to do a DEAR MAN, using our format for asking for something or saying no to something. And sometimes I will use it with a tone that’s pretty direct and pretty clear, because that’s going to express the anger, but do it in a very effective way.

Ed Fowler 

Sometimes I will use humor to express my anger in a much more easy to tolerate way. And that can be really effective in getting people to say, oh, gosh, I hurt him. I need to think about this. I don’t want to do that again. So we have so many options of how we can express anger, and what will be effective in any situation. We want to be able to access our wise mind in order to think about and I am a firm believer in this. How do I express this anger effectively, rather than I can’t express anger, it’s never okay to express anger, there’s no place for anger, right? Sometimes it’s like, I need to express this anger. What’s the most effective way to do it?

Marielle Berg 

Yeah. And I realized, as we’re talking that, and as we come to a close for today’s episode that just listening to us talk about anger for 40 minutes, or however long it was, can bring up anger in folks, because you might be remembering things that have happened in the past, you know, the far past or the recent past, things that made you feel anger. And so if that is happening, if you as you’ve listened to this, just see if you can, you know, take a little time to check in with your body. Ask yourself what you need, do a little self care.

Ed Fowler 

And again, I think we want to promote listening to paying attention to understanding our emotions, both because it’s empowering, just to know that, but also so that we can think about and be deliberate about how do I express this emotion when needed. And I can feel confident in expressing that anger, for instance. So some reflection on all of this, I think can be really, really valuable.

Marielle Berg 

All right. Thank you, Ed.

Ed Fowler 

Thank you.

Marielle Berg 

Thanks for listening to today’s episode. To learn more. Or if you’re in the Bay Area and want to get started with therapy. You can find us online at bayareadbtcc.com.