In today’s episode, we discuss your relationship with yourself, focusing on the skill of Loving-Kindness.
- When you are having a hard time, are you kind or harsh with yourself?
- Do you berate yourself for real or perceived mistakes?
- Do you try to motivate yourself with criticism?
These tactics tend to not work in the long-run and erode your sense of self.
What if you had permission to be gentle and compassionate with yourself?
The DBT skill of Loving-Kindness meditation is based on the Buddhist practice of Metta, which can help you cultivate a gentle, loving relationship with yourself. Although the roots of this skill lie in Buddhism, we offer a secular version of the practice here.
- Self-criticism can get conflated with accountability
- How would you speak to a good friend, or to someone you love when they are having a hard time?
- The role of hope in being kind to ourselves
- Acknowledging our common humanity is part of self-compassion work
- Everyone goes through hard times and this is part of being human
- Loving-Kindness Meditation is a series of 4 statements:
- May I be Safe
- May I be Happy
- May I be Healthy
- May I live with Ease
- Try sending Loving-Kindness to a neutral person first, then to someone you love, then to someone you’re angry with. Lastly, send it to yourself.
- Loving-Kindness can be a way of practicing Opposite Action
- Let go of the language of “deserving”
- Rather than being selfish, being kind to yourself can actually help you be kind with others
Links & Resources:
- DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition
- The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Christopher Germer and Kristin Neff
Would you like to ask a question and have the chance for it to be answered on the podcast? If so, please use this form. Please note that asking a question and this podcast in general is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.