#11: Radical Acceptance
Today, Marielle and Ed discuss the skill of Radical Acceptance. Radical Acceptance is a Distress Tolerance skill that helps you stop fighting reality, however painful that reality is. When you can fully open up and radically accept what is happening in the present moment, suffering decreases.
Ed Fowler
“Radical acceptance is the starting point for any change.”
Show Highlights:
- Getting too focused on change can sometimes backfire
- Radical acceptance is not against change
- Radical acceptance is different than plain old acceptance
- Our instinct is often to fight painful things that are happening
- Radical acceptance is not negating a sense of justice or fairness
- Denial of reality can keep us from taking steps towards change
- Acceptance does not equal approval
- Accepting painful things can be a process
- The first step in moving forward from painful things is accepting that they did happen
- Sadness often comes up when we radically accept
- Pain is a part of life for everyone – it can’t be avoided
- It’s a fallacy to think that if you accept things you don’t like about yourself you won’t change
- Radical acceptance doesn’t mean we don’t have preferences
- We need to radically accept the past
- If you are practicing Radical Acceptance of something in the future make sure you are only accepting known limitations
- Willing Hands is a skill that can help you Radically Accept
- To practice Willing Hands, turn your palms towards the sky and relax your arms
- When we fight reality, we are often holding a lot of tension in our bodies
Links & Resources
DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition
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#11: Radical Acceptance Transcript
Marielle Berg
Hello and welcome to The Skillful Podcast, where we explore DBT and RO-DBT skills to help you reduce emotional suffering, improve your relationships, and become more present in your life. I’m your host, Marielle Berg, a psychotherapist at the Bay Area DBT and Couples Counseling Center.
Marielle Berg
Welcome, Ed, we’re going to be talking today about a really important skill that’s part of the Distress Tolerance skill set in DBT, which is called Radical Acceptance.
Ed Fowler
Yeah, I think that this is a skill that when we get to it in our skills group cycle, always I feel like yeah, this is one of the really valuable ones. I mean, all the DBT skills are so helpful, but this is one that really has a lot of impact.
Marielle Berg
I agree. I think it’s hard to have favorites. Like you don’t want to have favorites of your children. So maybe the skills are all our kids that we should love equally. But I personally use Radical Acceptance, I think, the most frequently.
Ed Fowler
Yeah, I think for me, I don’t use it the most frequently, and I find it the most impactful when I use it.
Marielle Berg
So when you do use it, it’s really, it’s the one that has the biggest impact?
Ed Fowler
Yep.
Marielle Berg
All right. So in DBT, when we talk about Distress Tolerance, we teach a whole bunch of skills that can help change your emotional state. So as we talked about the TIPP skills last week, which was skills about changing your physiology, to help you deal with high distress levels, so we teach a bunch of skills that are helpful in actually changing the state that your body is in, or changing your mindset. So we teach distraction skills, we teach self soothing skills. So those are skills that are a bit more about change.
Ed Fowler
Yep, things specific actions you can take to change your emotional experience, and basically, steps to take to bring down distress very actively.
Marielle Berg
Yes. And so this skill is different, because this skill is about acceptance, and opening up to those painful moments.
Ed Fowler
And I know in DBT, we are always trying to strike a balance between acceptance and change. All the DBT skills are seeking to help us create that balance. And so it is really valuable to have specific things to do, very action oriented skills to bring distress down when we’re feeling really overwhelmed.
Ed Fowler
And all the actions in the world and cannot change reality as it exists. And so having a way to accept what is happening, rather than just trying to change, is a really helpful balance when we’re trying to bring down distressing emotions. You know, one of the things that we’ve talked about is that Marsha Linehan brought Radical Acceptance in as a key component of DBT because she found that it was, accepting what is was not a big focus of other types of therapy. From my own practice, that I can easily get focused on what needs to change, how to change, what can we do to change, which is all really valuable, especially if I, or people I’m working with, are feeling a lot of distress. And acceptance, I think is also important. And striking that balance is really a valuable way to actually reduce distress.
Marielle Berg
Absolutely. And we will dive into this in a moment. But Radical Acceptance is not against change, which is often something that’s one of the sort of pushbacks or the arguments we can get when we hear about Radical Acceptance. So we’ll expand on that.
Marielle Berg
And I totally get it. I know I had a similar reaction when I first learned about this concept. So let’s talk a bit about what exactly Radical Acceptance is and how it differs from plain old acceptance. So when we’re accepting, were acknowledging or recognizing facts, as they are, are saying, Yes, this is what it is. This is what’s happening. Radical Acceptance, and this is why the word radical is in there, takes this further. It’s an opening up, it’s a saying yes, in a very full way, we could say in your heart, mind, soul, if that language resonates with you, it’s a full opening and surrendering in a way to reality.
Ed Fowler
Yeah, I think the radical part of Radical Acceptance is really encouragement to go all the way to because again, I think that if there are painful realities that we cannot change. For me, and I think for most human beings, our instinct is to fight it. We don’t want to allow painful things to exist. And so we want to fight it. And that’s such a strong urge that we need a strong urge in the opposite direction, like a Radical Acceptance all the way completely. In DBT, we talk about using your whole body, your whole being, up to the reality that you may be fighting against.
Marielle Berg
And sometimes it’s tricky to know when we’re actually fighting reality. And so some signs that you might be fighting reality are that you’re feeling bitter or resentful. If you’re having thoughts, such as like, it shouldn’t be this way, or this shouldn’t be happening to me, right? I think sometimes it can also come out in just general like, frustration with life, kind of everything is getting in your way, things aren’t working, there’s too much traffic, things are too slow, that kind of like, that irritability.
Ed Fowler
Yeah, I think that, like we’ve talked before about the skill of Nonjudgmentalness. And that when they’re when we’re experiencing a lot of judgment, that may be a sign that we’re not accepting the facts. So that you know, like, what things should or should not be, or how I should or should not be? What’s fair, what’s right?
Ed Fowler
And again, I think with when we talk about this in group around Radical Acceptance, I personally have like a really important emphasis on justice and fairness. And that is important to me, in my life in relationships, and how I think about the world. And Radical Acceptance is taking a step back from that, not negating a sense of justice or fairness. But before you get into what might be just or fair, or what is needed, first accept what is. Whether it’s just or fair or not, whether it’s quote unquote, right or wrong, whether it should or should not be, which, and Radical Acceptance is a valuable focus to get us out of some of the judgments that may be really valuable to say that they’re right. But just because it’s not fair, doesn’t mean it isn’t existing, it isn’t happening.
Marielle Berg
Absolutely. And so that denial of reality, actually can keep us from taking wise and effective steps towards social change, which I think is part of what you’re talking about here. Because often, the pushback we get when we talk about Radical Acceptance is, how can I accept things in the world that are happening that feel profoundly unjust and unfair and inhumane, right? And we’re not saying yeah, it’s all okay, just accept it, don’t do anything to change it. If you can’t fully face the reality of what’s happening, it’s really hard to know what actions to take. So I really want to emphasize again, that acceptance does not equal approval.
Ed Fowler
And for me part of how I think about Radical Acceptance for myself, because I do tend to want change, right? Whether it’s my own behavior, or my environment, or for clients that I’m working with who I see suffering, I want things to be different for them. I don’t want them to suffer, right? And I am not going to give up on that. You know, like, I’m not just saying, Oh, just whatever, that’s too bad, accept it as it is. I really for myself, use Radical Acceptance as the starting point for any pursuit of change. If we can’t accept what is right now, it’s hard to be effective, and figuring out what might change. And we may waste time on an energy trying to change things that can’t be changed.
Marielle Berg
Yeah. And what an art, to kind of know what can be changed, and to what extent and what can’t be.
Ed Fowler
And so much, like with many of the DBT skills, I find it to be a trial and error. And what I appreciate about Radical Acceptance is this concept of start with completely accepting what is right now. Don’t get into what should or should not be, or what needs to change in the future. Just accepting what is and start with that. And for me, this is in the Distress Tolerance module, that reduces a lot of the stress the frustration, and can get me more into a Wise Mind place where I can think about, okay, what could be changed?
Marielle Berg
Yeah, I’m thinking back to the 2016 election, which I think about often, when I think of Radical Acceptance, or I think of like some of the hardest things to radically accept, and how I was driving home from work that day. And it was, I saw people out in the streets marching and protesting, and I was still in a state. I think I was rejecting reality. I was like, this isn’t really happening. All I wanted to do was go home and get in bed and put the covers over my head and maybe there’ll be a different reality tomorrow. We’re going to uncover something and this won’t be true. And I was amazed at the people who were out. They’re doing something because they’re like, I can’t know what’s going on in their head, but to be able to get to that state, I needed to be like, yes, actually, this did happen. Now, what am I gonna do? I don’t like it.
Ed Fowler
And again, I think with the skill of Radical Acceptance in DBT, there’s no sense of like, there’s a timeline to this, or you, we’ve talked many times about you almost always, it needs more than one engagement with the skill to accept something, especially something big and painful.
Ed Fowler
You know, I think about, for instance, for me, like things that have happened in my life, where I have faced abuse or injustice, and needing to do some things to address that, accepting that that happened. And that’s it period, not getting into right or wrong, which, like, we both know, I very much got into the right and wrong at some point. I’m not ignoring that. But just accepting this happened to me. I didn’t want it to happen. It was painful. And it happened. And I see this a lot with clients of like, the first step and being able to move forward is to say this happened.
Marielle Berg
Yes.
Ed Fowler
This happened.
Marielle Berg
This is such an important point, I think, for anyone who has experienced any kind of childhood abuse, or been a victim of a crime or injustice in any way, which unfortunately, is many of us. We’re not saying that that’s okay that that happened, or excusing the perpetrators. But we’re looking kind of squarely in the eye and saying, Yes, this is part of my reality. This did happen.
Marielle Berg
And with that, I think one of the reasons why it’s so hard to radically accept these deeply painful events in life, is that there’s a lot of emotion that comes with it. When we do radically accept, yes, this is part of my history, this did happen.
Ed Fowler
And we’ve talked before about how if we truly accept painful events, experiences, things going on in our lives, right now, if we’re really accepting it, oftentimes, what comes up is sadness. And being able to manage the sadness is an aspect of Radical Acceptance.
Marielle Berg
And that’s a reason why people will avoid this skill, because it can bring up such a river of grief. And if we can ride out those currents that can feel really choppy and overwhelming, very often, at the end of that there can be a sense of peace.
Ed Fowler
And I think that’s the promise of Radical Acceptance, changing distress into peace, that if we can do the work, which is usually, and we’ll get into how to do this, but usually fairly involved, takes a lot of revisiting and a lot of practice. And if we can do the work of accepting this happened, or this is happening, then we can gain a sense of okay, now what, instead of like, the real pain of it shouldn’t have happened, or it shouldn’t be happening.
Marielle Berg
Yes, absolutely. And it doesn’t mean for example, if you’re radically accepting the death of someone that you loved dearly, and you open yourself up to that, and you feel pain and grief, it doesn’t mean you don’t, when we’re talking about the peace at the other side of the grief, it doesn’t mean that you don’t miss them or that you don’t revisit that grief. Again, it doesn’t mean that it isn’t extremely painful, but you’re not adding additional layer of pain by turning away and saying this isn’t happening, this isn’t true or real.
Ed Fowler
One of the things that we talk about in DBT, regarding Radical Acceptance is the idea that pain is a part of life for all of us. We will experience pain of one kind or another, we can’t avoid it and it happens, right? And that when we have painful experiences, and we fight against them, and say it shouldn’t happen, right, it’s unfair, it’s unfair, I’ve got to do something to make this stop happening, even though that may be out of my control, right? What we do is we turn pain into suffering, extend the pain.
Ed Fowler
I heard motivational speaker once talking about the idea of like, slamming your finger in a window, and –
Marielle Berg
Ouch.
Ed Fowler
and ouch, right? If we, and this is usually my approach of you know, saying, oh my god, ow, this is so much pain, that is terrible, why did I do that, I shouldn’t have done that, I’m so stupid, why is a window like that, that stupid windows should have been fixed a long time ago, like all of that kind of stuff. And what I’m doing is really focusing on that pain and extending that pain and accentuating that pain, right?
Ed Fowler
Where the other option is to simply say, I slammed my finger. I’m experiencing a lot of sensation and I remember like this motivational speaker, people laughed. Like oh, I slammed my finger, I’m experiencing a lot of sensations like, okay, come on. And the reality is that saying, you know, like I’m experiencing a lot of sensation is very different than I never should have done that, it shouldn’t have happened, right? Why am I always like that, right? So Radical Acceptance is again, using similar skills to mindfulness of just nonjudgmentally noticing what are the basic facts and saying this is, and that’s it. Nothing more.
Marielle Berg
Yeah, I’m so glad you brought up the topic of pain. Because I mean, there’s so many different ways we could talk about Radical Acceptance. A Radical Acceptance of things that are happening in the world that we find deeply unjust, Radical Acceptance, around loss, Radical Acceptance around trauma and past abuse, and of course, Radical Acceptance around pain and how if we can do that, how it can really shift things.
Marielle Berg
And I’m thinking just last week, I had what I believe was a migraine, so really excruciating headache with nausea, which was not fun. And you know, I woke up with it. And I was fighting reality. And I was blaming myself. This was because you didn’t get enough sleep last night, or maybe you had too much caffeine or too little caffeine. And I’m just kind of power through the day and I was doing things to make it worse. And so that was, you know, the things I was doing to make it worse was mostly internal. There was a way I was sort of berating myself, this isn’t happening, I have a long day. And when I allowed myself to sort of fully open to say, Yes, this hurts, it’s really uncomfortable. It settled my nervous system. And I was able to take a 20 minute nap, which was helpful.
Marielle Berg
Of course, it didn’t make it go away. But my relationship to the discomfort shifted. I wasn’t sort of in a knot internally, and pissed off that I had this terrible headache. Like, okay, this is happening, how can I move through my day as gracefully as possible, given what the reality is right now? So, you know, we talked about the Subjective Units of Distress, it took it down from maybe, you know, up to like an eight, like, it was getting pretty dysregulated, down to a six. Not that I felt great, but I wasn’t all, as I said, knotted up and extra tense inside.
Ed Fowler
And when we talked about the Subjective Units of Distress, the SUDs level, you know, like five, six, even seven, what we’re looking for is that, like, we’re having stress, we can focus on other things, we have the ability to focus on other things, we’re not just focused on the stress. Now, 7, 8, 9, 10, we cannot even think about anything else except for the stress or except for the pain.
Ed Fowler
So Radical Acceptance is another way to give ourselves the opportunity to focus on other things besides the thing that is stressing us, which can often make us ineffective, if we’re only focusing on the stressful thing, the painful thing, it’s hard to think about what to do. So Radical Acceptance is another tool to bring that focus shift, that focus away from just, you know, like, oh, what should I do, what should I do, what do I need to do, to just like, be able to focus on other things. And sometimes that’s enough, being able to like, move on. But you know, like, for me, if like, I’m having physical pain, a lot of times, I want to just stop everything. And the reality is, I almost always feel better if I get moving, if I do, something will decrease, if I kind of keep moving and don’t focus on it.
Marielle Berg
Yes. With that, especially with something, you know, physical pain or an emotional pain. It’s not a one and done, that you talked about a moment ago, like so when I was trying to accept my headache, or you’re talking about accepting pain. It’s a process. So often, we have to turn towards radically accepting sort of over and over when something is very hard, because I’ve said this myself, and I’ve heard others say, like, Oh, I already radically accepted that. And if only it was so easy.
Ed Fowler
Right? Oh, yeah.
Marielle Berg
Yeah.
Ed Fowler
Yeah, I actually have said that many times. And I’ve heard that a lot. And my response often when I hear people say that, and when people I’ve had people say to be like, I’ve already radically accepted that. Oh, really? Okay. Sure, yeah.
Marielle Berg
Let’s talk a little bit about Radical Acceptance, with Radical Acceptance around qualities about oneself that you don’t like. Because this is such a common one that we talk about in group and which can be really hard to shift. People often think I can’t accept my temper, my shyness, my procrastination, whatever it might be, because that I’m never going to change it.
Ed Fowler
And I think that again, I have had this experience of like, trying to say I shouldn’t be this way, right? I can’t accept my procrastination, for instance, because if I accept it, then I’ll just procrastinate forever. And this is so ineffective, I’ve got to do something different. And very often, like when I accept it, is when I actually am able to make a change.
Ed Fowler
The thing that stands out to me is like I spent many years before I went to graduate school saying to myself and to other people, I need to get a handle on procrastination because I’m not going to be able to function in graduate school, if I procrastinate as much as I’m doing now. And after years finally was like, Okay, well, I may never go to graduate school unless, wait. I thought, let me just go. And I will practice working on procrastination while I’m in graduate school. And so I spent a lot of time fighting against my procrastination. And I, you know, took a class and we talked about acceptance as a tool. And I decided, like, I do things at the last minute. For me, when being in graduate school, I write papers at the last minute. I get it done. Almost always requiring like, all night overnight. I get it done. And that’s just what I do. That’s how I can get it done. I shouldn’t do it that way. And I would like to do things differently. Maybe I would be able to engage in writing papers in a different way if I did it earlier. And this is how I do do it.
Ed Fowler
And once I accepted that, my last semester, all my papers were done at the last minute, often requiring overnight, and they all got turned in. And my quality of life,instead of spending like a week saying you should be working, you should be working, why are you procrastinating, stop procrastinating, I just said I’m gonna do it on Tuesday. That’s when it’s due. And then my quality of life was different. So that the issue wasn’t the procrastination, the issue was the lack of acceptance.
Marielle Berg
Yeah, so you’re talking about removing that layer of toxicity that we have, that you had, that I think we all have our own qualities around ourselves that we don’t like, so that beating yourself up or berating yourself, I can change this, I should change it. So you’re opening up to like, this is how I seem to work the best or maybe the only way it has its pros, its has its cons, I’m not going to hate myself for it.
Ed Fowler
Right.
Marielle Berg
Let’s switch gears, let’s talk a little bit about Radical Acceptance of others. You know, people in our, who are close to us, or our closest relationships. These could be romantic partners, family members, because that’s also a stumbling block for myself and many people. How can I radically accept this quality about the person I’d love and spend my life with that I actually can’t stand? How do I do that? Am I saying that’s okay?
Ed Fowler
And again, I think that the approach of Radical Acceptance as a skill is I’m not making any judgments about whether this is okay or not, I’m not making any judgments about whether this quality is something that I want to live with, whether it’s in myself or someone else, right? I’m starting with, this is a quality this person has, right? This person doesn’t take the trash out period. I’m accepting that. Starting with that.
Marielle Berg
Yeah. That this is actually what I’m working with. And when we’re radically accepting, it doesn’t mean we don’t have preferences.
Ed Fowler
Right. And I think sometimes it’s part of the Radical Acceptance, whether it’s about ourselves or others of like, for instance, for me, procrastination is like, I wish I didn’t procrastinate and procrastinate, period, right?
Marielle Berg
I wish I knew you when I was in grad school, because I also procrastinate, and I don’t think I ever got to that place.
Ed Fowler
I probably won’t be this way this semester.
Marielle Berg
Still, you had it.
Ed Fowler
Again, and that was what it was, was that it made a huge difference. I really feel like that was the only semester of my entire school career.
Marielle Berg
It wasn’t like misery.
Ed Fowler
That I wasn’t like, oh, you’re a terrible person, because you procrastinate and do things at the last minute. And that’s what happens is oftentimes we can develop these judgments of ourselves, that we may not even voice, and they become really ineffective. Like years and years, I said, you better stop procrastinating. You can’t go to graduate school unless you stop doing this. The you know, horrible shame about it. And the reality was, I got things done, I got them done at the last minute, it was a little bit painful. Even when I was radically accepting it, staying up all night trying to finish a paper is not really fun, right? Radically accepting took a layer of shame and guilt and frustration and judgment off of that. And it made a qualitative difference.
Marielle Berg
And who knows, if you had to stay in school longer, maybe something would have shifted over time, maybe there would have been a little bit more room or curiosity about what if I started this maybe a day early, what might it be like?
Marielle Berg
So let’s talk a little bit more about what actually needs to be accepted. Because this can also be a tricky place. So obviously, we have to accept reality as it is. And so that means to present. When you’re practicing Radical Acceptance, make sure that you’re accepting facts. So you’re not accepting that I’m such a I’m such a loser, I do everything at the last minute. So we would say that it’s not actually factual, but you could be radically accepting I procrastinate or I do my projects at the last minute.
Marielle Berg
And with that, also, like I don’t like, it’s not my preference, but opening up to this is what’s happening. Obviously, we need to radically accept the past. That means everything that’s happened previously that we can’t change. We can’t do anything about the past. So, it gets tricky with Radical Acceptance of the future, because we don’t know what the future is gonna hold. So if you’re practicing Radical Acceptance of something, in the future, be careful to make sure that you’re only accepting known limitations. So if you just got out of a messy relationship, and you’re really hurting, and you say, Okay, I’m going to practice Radical Acceptance about this, I’m going to radically accept that I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life. Like, we don’t know that, right?
Ed Fowler
Actually, this comes up a lot when I have worked with clients who have are coming out of relationships, a lot of times, it’s like, I just need to accept that I’ll never meet somebody as good as that person was. And again, I’ve seen it so many times where things that we can’t predict what will happen, right? Radical Acceptance is, I am scared about never meeting someone that we can accept, I’m scared, I will never meet someone, right? But I won’t, as if that’s a fact that’s not going to be valuable.
Marielle Berg
Alternatively, radically accepting that we don’t know like, I don’t know what my future is gonna hold. In terms of my romantic life, I might meet someone I may not. And that’s really hard to not know. So word of caution, if you’re trying to radically accept something in the future, I mean, our lives all have limitations.
Ed Fowler
So I think, you know, like, another aspect of Radical Acceptance is, and this comes up a lot when people are in extreme emotional distress, that life can be worth living, evenwith painful events in it. So practicing acceptance, that even when there are very painful things happening, I can create a life that is worth living. And not saying like, life isn’t worth living, there’s no way you know, I have to accept I’m always going to be in pain. And this will never go away. That’s actually that’s not factual. That’s not accurate. That’s not Radical Acceptance. Radical Acceptance is, I am in a lot of pain. And I don’t know what will happen. And I’m going to keep moving forward.
Marielle Berg
Yes. I mean, if we waited until our lives were pain free, no one would have lives worth living, because no one’s life is pain free. Of course, some people’s lives have more suffering than others.
Marielle Berg
Let’s talk a little bit about some other skills that you can use to help support you in Radically Accepting, particularly skills using the body. Because the Radical Acceptance is a full and complete opening to reality as it is. So we teach a skill called Willing Hands, which I’m demonstrating right now. But of course, people can’t see, if you can see a video and my hands are my palms are turned upward. And so I’m resting them right now on my lap. And so this posture call Willing Hands, you can also do when you’re standing, and it’s just turning your palms upward and outward a bit sort of towards the sky. It sort of signals and opening to whatever is.
Marielle Berg
So this can be a helpful way to even if you’re not feeling like or you’re feeling like you’re resisting reality, it can be something to try to get you to open to what’s actually happening. And when you’re doing that, when you’re doing the Willing Hands skill and turning your palms upward. If you can think about sort of relaxing your neck and shoulder muscles, and letting your hands really just sort of flop open.
Ed Fowler
You know, one of the things that’s helpful is to use observing, mindful observing to notice when we are fighting reality, and oftentimes that has a physical component. When we talk about this in group, people will notice like my shoulders are really tight. I might, fists are clenched, my brow is furrowed, like there’s these physical manifestations of our fight. And fighting is really valuable at times. If we need to radically accept something in order to be effective and what we might want to fight, then noticing the, what are, you know, observing how our body might be fighting reality, and then doing things like Willing Hands and just relaxing, or perhaps practicing some paced breathing, something to relax the muscles of our body as a physical way of expressing acceptance.
Marielle Berg
Yes, because when we’re fighting reality, there’s often a lot of tension that we’re not aware of that we’re holding in our bodies. That’s one of the reasons why I can find the Willing Hands so effective and it’s a signals very physical signal to myself, that I’m trying to open to the reality of whatever it is.
Marielle Berg
Well as we bring this episode to a close, I just want to leave listeners with a couple of things. I want to reiterate that acceptance is not approval, that often Radical Acceptance has to be done sort of over and over again. And many times there’ll be a lot of strong feelings that come up with Radical Acceptance. So this is a great skill to talk about with your therapist or people close to you in your life that feel like they’re safe confidants because it’s a very evocative skill.
Ed Fowler
And I think for me, the thing that helps me the most with Radical Acceptance is reminding myself that accepting what is is the first step towards figuring out effective ways to change what might be changed. So that gives me more motivation. I’m not accepting reality simply for the sake of accepting reality, although there’s benefit in that. I’m accepting reality to reduce my stress, to stop fighting. And then to ideally be able to have more of a Wise Mind approach to what do I want to do, what do I need to do, what will be helpful?
Marielle Berg
You get to evaluate.
Ed Fowler
Yeah, so Radical Acceptance is the first step in figuring out what might change look like. I’ll be more effective if I’ve already accepted what’s been happening and what is happening.
Marielle Berg
Well said, that seems like a good note to end on. Thank you.
Ed Fowler
Yeah, thank you.
Marielle Berg
Thanks for listening to today’s episode. To learn more, or if you’re in the Bay Area and want to get started with therapy, you can find us online at bayareadbtcc.com.