Posts by Marielle Berg

Once you have a grasp of the change-oriented skills in DBT (such as Check the Facts, Opposite Action, and Problem Solving) it can be hard to figure out which one to use.  This episode walks you through deciding if and when to act on an unwanted emotion. Show Highlights DBT Skills Discussed Resources Ask us…

Shame is one of the most painful emotions we can experience.  This episode explores what shame is, when the emotion is useful (and when it’s not), and skills to help you cope when shame threatens to overwhelm you. Shame is a social emotion that motivates us to repair transgressions that might result in us being…

Today’s episode focuses on the emotion of fear. At its most fundamental, fear keeps us safe. It guides us to fight, flee, or freeze in the face of danger.  Often, though, fear can be chronic, manifesting as anxiety, worry, or tension even when we are safe. This episode helps you identify fear in all its…

In this episode, Marielle and Ed discuss the emotion of anger. In its most useful form, anger moves us to protect and defend ourselves and those we care about. Many people, though, find anger frightening because they have witnessed destructive expressions of anger such as emotional or physical violence. This episode unpacks the emotion of…

When we find ourselves getting caught in extremes, the DBT skill called Walking the Middle Path helps us re-calibrate.  Use this skill when you notice you are caught in binary thinking to find a way to move towards center. This episode explores common opposites: Show Highlights ​​DBT Skills Discussed Ask us a Question We’d love…

This episode is an overview of the core Interpersonal Effectiveness skills in DBT, focusing on clarifying objectives, DEAR MAN, GIVE, and FAST.  There are a lot of acronyms in the Interpersonal Effectiveness module! Memorizing what each letter of the acronym stands for, especially DEAR MAN, can help you access the skill when you most need…

In Part 2 of How to Assert Yourself, Marielle and Ed discuss common interpersonal pitfalls in speaking up for yourself in relationships. Do you swallow your needs and then find they all come out in a rush of words and anger?   Vacillating between staying silent and then blowing up is common and hurts both your…

Do you find it hard to speak up for yourself in relationships? If so, this 2-part series on how to assert yourself may help you understand why it can feel so hard to ask for things or say no in different types of relationships. In order to be able to assert yourself, you first need…

In this episode, Marielle and Ed answer a listener’s question about fears of abandonment when conflict arises in relationships. These fears go straight to the heart of old wounds for many people.  Often, worry that conflict will destroy a relationship is rooted in our earliest relationships with our caregivers. If that early care was inconsistent,…

This episode is the 2nd part of an overview of the Emotion Regulation skills in DBT, focusing on skills that can help you be in Emotion Mind less often. You can find part 1 here.  The skills discussed in this episode may not have an immediate impact on how you’re feeling, but regular application of…